behind those tear filled eyes
by hikakao2345
Summary: Kaoru finally decides to leave Hikaru's side because he's too in love with haruhi, but what happens when Hikaru finally realizes he's gone and now his whole life is falling apart? will Kaoru be able to live on his own after living his whole by Hika's side
1. Chapter 1

**Hikaru pov**

I lost my brother, he left me and he had every right to do so... I shouldn't have been such and ass towards him and paid more attention to what was right in front of me the whole time. I took advantage of his feelings for me and used them like it was nothing, when really.. all I did was hurt him and now I only have haruhi the girl who teared us apart, the one who made me oblivious to everything around me and forget about how important he really is to me. Everyone else hate me because I drove kao off and forced him to run away. Just so I would be left alone to suffer, but no where near as bad as he did... I was jerked from my thoughts by the door that slammed into the wall.

"i'm home" Haruhi called, I cringed at the sound of her voice as her footsteps grew closer, until they stopped right in front of the bedroom door.

"hikaru are you in there?" she asked as the door knob slowly turned, I watched through my red, puffy eyes as I wiped the tears away from my eyes. She walked in the room and looked at me with irritation.

"are you seriously still sulking about your brother?" she snapped, with a disgusted look on her face. I stayed silent as she ranted on about how I should be over the disappearance of my twin brother by now.

"it's not your fault he left you, he probably did it for attention or something, besides if he really wanted to be here he would have stayed" Haruhi hissed, done with my sulking whenever i'm alone for about a month or so. But shes wrong, Kaoru left because of me and my mistakes and all he wanted to do was get away from this god forsaken hell. I thought as haruhi stripped down to her night gown and crawled into bed next to me.

"he left you to restart his life and make it better... he wouldn't want you to be upset over that would he?" she said calmly, before turning off the lights and falling asleep.

For some reason I didn't believe her, I don't think that's why he left.. I know that's not why he left. With that thought still lingering in my head I fell into a deep sleep.

_Rain poured down on the roof of the Hitachiin mansion as I layed in Kaoru's bed with haruhi, my girlfriend at the time. We snuggled under the giant warms blankets as thunder sounded outside. We watched some show in attempt to keep our minds off of the rain. _

_Her light brown orbs met my golden ones as she inched closer for a kiss, but froze at the sound of the bedroom door bursting open and revealing an auburn haired boy. Kaoru walked into the room as we watched his face turn from calm to furious in mere seconds. _

"_how many times do I have to tell you! If your going to do ll of that lovey dovey shit then go in your own room! At least then I wouldn't have to watch." Kaoru hissed as his cheeks turned a light pink in the process. _

"_i would but my tv is broken and we need something to drown out the noise of the thunder." I whined, not wanting to be forced out of my comfortable position. He gave me a look of 'if you don't leave now I will kill the both of you'._

"_besides I like the smell of you" I added, taking a big whiff of the air around me and using his undying love for me against him. A light blush stained his cheeks before he looked away and mumbled "bullshit."_

_which was kind of true because his bed reeks of depression. You don't know what it smells like until you've stepped into his room. Tear tugged at his eyes as he tried to keep composure. _

"_get out..." he mumbled, barely loud enough for me to hear. Haruhi gave him a questioning look before scooting closer to me in fear of the lightning outside. _

"_get out of my fucking room you cross dressing whore!" Kaoru snapped, earning a shocked expression from the both of us. _

"_Kaoru i'm sorry for what ever I did, I suppose it would be best for me to leave" she announced as a scowl fell upon her face, before she fiercely kissed me then stormed out of the room._

"_happy?" I grunted as I shifted on the large bed. "you couldn't have let it go? It might have happened tonight" I said coldly, watching the hurt expression wash over his facial features._

"_yea in MY BED! If your want to fuck your girlfriend so bad then do it in your own room1 I thought that was the reason you forced me out of our room.." by the end of his rant his voice was small and had a hurt tone. Angrily he walked off but stopped at the door to mumble the last words he spoke to me. "have a nice life with you bitch"_

I woke up with sweat covering my body as I brought my hand to my forehead.

"it was so vivid... just like the day he left me." I mumbled to myself as I looked around the dark room.

**Hope you liked it so far^-^ and don't worry haruhi won't be in there that much.. god I hate her . accept at times she's ok.. anyway please review.. tell me how I did.. if I should continue or not etc.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hikaru pov**

I awoke the next morning, sun filled the large bedroom, blinding me momentarily. thinking back to the night mere I had the night before brought tears to my eyes as I got up and stumbled to the bathroom. I stripped down and quickly hopped into the warm shower. I let my whole body relax for a moment just to tense up again at the sound of her voice.

"can I come in? We can take a shower like we used to." Haruhi said sweetly as she opened the bathroom door and started stripping down.

"no! We can't.." I screeched, making her stop in confusion.

"why not?" Haruhi asked angerly as she stood up and glared at me through the shower curtain.

"because.. it'll just bring back memories of kao " I said defensively, even though it's also cause I don't find her as attractive as before. By that I mean once she got more comfortable around me she let her true bitchy self come out.

"you won't do anything because it reminds you of kao.. he's probably dead! Now move on with your life!" she screamed at me, making me wonder what I ever saw in her. Everything I wanted was right by my side my entire life, but I realized it too late.

"Don't say that! He's some where out there, he has to be." I mumbled back, before storming out of the bathroom, butt naked .

"the truth hurts" Haruhi said to herself, before stepping into the shower.

At that moment I had to make a choice, a choice of whether im going to sit back and mope while the police find my brother, or go and find him myself. Determination gleamed in my eyes as I threw a few things together and headed for the car.

"Hikaru! Where are you going! HIKARU!" Haruhi screeched from the porch, with just a towel on.

"I'm going to do something I should have done a long time ago." I said as I drove off leaving a frustrated Haruhi behind. I looked around at all the buildings, without a clue of where to start. Honestly he could be he could be anywhere by now. I switched on the radio and flipped through a couple of stations, all of them were playing depressing sappy love songs, that only made me think of my lost brother even more. Deciding not to listen to the radio, I drove the streets a little longer, until I came across on of the clubs me and Kaoru used to go to and ask if they have seen him recently.

I pulled into the parking lot of one of our favorite clubs and hopped out of the car, immediately seeing the club owner.

"hey Tino! Have you seen Kaoru recently?" I asked as he made his way over to me.

"no I haven't, why has he gone missing?" Tino said, concern evident in his voice.

"yeah, he's been missing for about a month and a half/" I sighed as I leaned against the window behind me and stared off into the distance.

"and your just starting you search for him now? That's crazy.. of all people I thought you would have left to find him immediately" Tino said truthfully, making me feel even more guilty than I already have.

"well.. at first I thought he would he would come back, but after a few days I lost hope in that theory and Haruhi kept telling me it was for the better, so I believed her" I said, as I thought back on the memories, still fresh in my mind. "Tino!" a voice called from the back room .

"you should have trusted your instincts" was the last thing he said, before disappearing into the massive crowd of people. I tried the next few clubs and all the places we usually hung out and got the same answer every time "no".

Frustrated jumped out of the car and slammed the car door shut, before entering the small shop. A tall man with spiky, light brown hair stood behind the counter, looking oddly familiar.

"Arei?" I questioned as walked closer to him, his head shot up at the sound of his name and rested his eyes on me.

"oh hello, your one of the Hitachiin twins, right?" Arei asked, with a hint of nervousness to his voice.

"do you know anything about Kaoru?!" I demanded, anger glistening in my eyes.

"n-nothing I haven't s-seen him since you two stayed he-re with Haruhi"he stated, looking anywhere but directly at me, He's a terrible liar.

"you know something about MY brother, and he is missing! You better cough up the information or I will beat it out of you!"i threatened, getting ready to jump over the counter and attack him.

"las time I talked to him was four days ago" Arei blurted out nervously, frantically looking around the room.

"what did he say?" I asked, calming down a little bit, but still ready to attack him if he tries to get out of this.

"he called me and asked what has happened between you two, but last time I talked to him he said something about running away to Paris, because it's the city of love and he's been staying there." Arei said quickly, panting from saying so many things at once.

"thanks" I mumbled, before I bolted out of the small shop and drove straight to the air port. Anxiously waiting to get the next ticket to Paris.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hikaru pov**

I sat in the waiting room, listening for my plane to be called when I felt a tap on my shoulder, slowly I looked over my shoulder, regretting it the second I did.

"where do you think your going? Your not going to leave me are you?!" Haruhi asked through clenched teeth,

"n-no I just have some business to attend to" I breathed angrily, trying me best not to scowl at her.

"then you wouldn't mind if I came with." she said in a slightly happier tone, yet stilled glared at me.

""no, you can't, it wouldn't be a good idea" I said earning a sour glare from the small brunette.

"you better not be going to find your brother, I told you it would be better to leave him alone." Haruhi hissed. Before disappearing into the massive crowd. Soon after a lady called for my plane to start loading, I was one of the first on the plane, taking a seat in the first seat I saw. I got comfortable in the plane seat and drifted to sleep for about two hours, but I was awoken by the flight attendant.

"um.. hello Kaoru, did you go back and check on your brother?" the lady said, my head shot up at the sound of my brother's name and I looked at her in confusion, but decided it would be best if I played along.

"y-yeah.. when was the last time I visited him again?" I asked, curious of what information this lady had about my baby brother.

"about a week ago if I remember correctly, then you came back two day later" she said trying to recall the past events. "and how is he doing?" she added as a small smile appeared on her face. It took me a minute to think of how Kaoru would have responded, especially after all I put him through.

"he's been ok, still with that bitch, but he's alright" I said, looking at the ground in hopes that I didn't mess up. Next thing I knew her arms were wrapped around me.

"it must be so hard to see him with her" she squealed as she hugged me tighter, leaving a feeling of regret lingering in me.

"i'm sorry, I hope he'll come around" she said, before she ran off to tend to another passenger. I sat in silence the rest of the way, until the plane finally landed in Paris. Soon after I got off and entered the air port. The first thing I did was go and find a map and try to decide where I should look first.

Finally I decided on a large hotel that was close by. Once I arrived there it looked fairly nice on the outside, but much nicer on the inside. I stepped inside, my eyes flickered around, taking in the new surroundings.

"hello, what can I help you with?" a man in a fancy suit asked me as I walked up to the front desk.

"uh.. have you seen a boy who looks just like me?" I asked, with a hint of panic hidden in my voice. He gave me a look of 'what the fuck?' and shook his head slowly. My face took on an upset look as I walked out of the fancy hotel and haled a cab.

Once he pulled up and I told him to bring me to another hotel, in hopes that Kaoru was smart enough to stay in one of them. We went around the city, checking all of the hotels, but I got the same response every time, an odd look and a slow shake of the head. Frustrated I plopped in the back seat of the cab as he drove off once again. My phone rang, startling me immensely as I put the phone to my ear.

"hey Hikaru, it's Arei, I got your number from Haruhi" the voice on the other line said with an anxious tone.

"yeah, what is it?" I asked, getting rather anxious myself.

"i was talking to my buddy over there and I told him about your search for Kaoru and he said he saw a boy who fit the description somewhere near Quai Branly street yesterday, he said the boy looked pretty bad though. I would hurry if I were you." Arei explained quickly, as I told the driver the street name.

"thanks, bye" I nearly yelled into the phone, before snapping it shut. We quickly arrived at the street I was told my baby brother was on just the day before. I jumped out of the cab, searching all around the area. I came up with nothing and it was starting to get dark, I didn't want to give up just yet, but I don't think I can take another step. I retired to a hotel nearby and fell asleep almost instantly in their insanely comfortable beds.


End file.
